At the time of this Post, I am 33 years old. I have two boys, Vision who is 11 years old on April 8th, and Cayman who turned two in December. I have had but one employer since the age of 18, The States Postal Service. I recently completed my first year as Postmaster of the Barstow Post Office. I am two years into my second marriage, to a 23 year old Rural Route Carrier and Former College Soccer Player. YOOOOWWW! We bought a home some 6 months ago and she has been getting involved with the Postal Management System. While I await the start to another little league season for Vision as well as what looks to be a big year for Jeter and the Yanks.
The First Mrs. left me after nearly four years of marriage, taking our two year old son with her
aiding to one of my darker downward spirals. It wasn't however, the first brush with disappointment, depression, failure or rebellion and it would be far from the last of such episodes. Having your High School Girlfriend Dump you the Monday prior to Prom can be
rough on a 17yr old. Finding out a teammate on the JV basketball team was sleeping with her really sends a geeky 130 pound Richie Cunningham into hiding. That gets followed up with the sophomore cheerleader prom date. A last minute deal through a mutual friend resulting in a
second opportunity to confirm my attraction for selfish, attention seeking women with little to no morals. She'd play me for a month or two using me to get close with the popular seniors, working her way up the social ladder. Guys I was beginning to not just provide the answers to on tests in Psychology, but also spend Friday evenings with sharing Mickey's, Strawberry Hill, and a new sound that seemed to speak to all who's ears it reached. It was something I could relate to, scratchy voiced guys in flannels singing of troubles, of abuse and of neglect. No lipstick, big hair or half naked girls dancing around, this was simply music that made you notice your own problems and insecurities.
It began as the Seattle Sound with Kurt Cobain and Nirvana Leading the way out of the Emerald City, the sound quickly went global as bands like Alice in Chains, Soundgarden and of course Mother Love Bone emerged with stories of their own. Mother Love Bone you may ask? Yes, a very important piece in this Gen Xers evolution. Mother Love Bone would lose their lead singer to a drug overdose sometime in 89 or 90. Now out of this tragedy emerged the one definitive and legal thing to alter the course of my life. The surviving band members would soon
hookup with a surfer living in San Diego who put words down to their tunes. The surfer was Eddie Vedder and not long after, guys like me were tossing their Bel Biv Devoe, Mint Condition and Tony Toni Tone tapes for TEN, the first and greatest of Pearl Jams albums.
We'll pick up again tomorrow as graduation for a 4.o GPA Second Baseman quickly approached. I'll share Senior Awards Night, Graduation and the tough months that followed. This evening I've shared with you a couple lead ins to additional pages you can soon reach from the Blogg'd Life home. Take a second and check out the blogs linked at the top. A couple link to those up and running, the others will come online shortly
Blogs inspired by my new found enjoyment for my career, a blog to document my oldest boys little league season, one paying tribute to Pearl Jam and of course the blog dedicated to following the greatest sports franchise in the world, My Yankee Blog.... Before I forget, (which Erica would never believe), take a minute and stop by our newest blog page with the "Erica Page" link or click on THE ONE above the title. Visit a blog dedicated to reminding my wife of my love for her, reminding me to show that love and educating others how to keep the relationship strong, avoid outside opinions and remain loyal.
Stop by Erica' s Love for everything relationships will face you with, along with the keys essential for holding on through the tough lonely times.
See you soon, keep your head up,
the person you'll owe your life to could be right in front of you.
3.31.2009
3.29.2009
In Development
3.29.2009
0
In reviewing the statistics I notice traffic arriving at an unexpected rate. If your here and wondering why, please be patient. I put the cart before the horse again. In the next week you will discover this as a sight which in some way can relate to something your dealing with in life. I am a Postmaster, and with my wife working as a rural carrier we make a comfortable living. But it hasn't always been that way for me.
If your relationship with your parents or a parent went south your sophomore year or if you graduated High School with a 4.0 GPA only to find out that's not enough to garner financial aid for college I need to speak to you. Anyone who grew up believing they were going to be a professional baseball player will benefit from this blog. Especially those sitting in the dark discovering for the first time that there is not a big demand for workers skilled in the pivot at second or drag bunting. If your teen years left you having learned little that is useful outside the arena you knew you'd be working in I've got stories.
Relationships? You'll be surprised how many problems an ugly guy like myself could develop with such a relatively high number of women, (given the time frame). A high school girlfriend that dumped me the Monday before prom, a supposed true love who took your child and anything else that could have mattered just four years after marrying you. One that was deported, who received your financial assistance. Financial assistance you didn't have for weekends with your son, but found a way to provide to a person you felt guilty for sending away. A person who would choose the company of a "coyote" in a concrete room in Tijuana with a community bathroom, over your willingness to pay for her return to the US and a better life. If you placed a woman and her son ahead of your son, if that woman was a psychopath, If she made you change everything that made you you, than we'll have a lot to discuss. Especially if even after knowing all of that, you still threw yourself on the hood of her car as she left you in your front yard. The decisions to get payback on those women by purposely targeting married women to engage in affairs with might be an interest. The void left in life when such a move costs one of the best friendships you've had. Something in there must be of interest.
What about the other issues associated with your late teens, twenties and even into your thirties. I'm talking about alcohol abuse, divorce, bankruptcy, child custody. The fact that this is your life, you aren't special or destined for anything more than 40 hours a week and benefits if your lucky. Not living up to a fathers expectations, but continuing to keep that one goal. Disappointing siblings, mothers, family friends, everyone. Multiple attempts at suicide, one landing you in the funny farm for a handful of strange days.
None of this however will compare for the interest you'll find in my views on experimental drug use and its transformation into addiction. Addiction, a word I viewed as a cop out for a mother unwilling to attempt to quit smoking. Now a word I associate with the closest thing to the devil that I have ever known. Experimentation with everything from Marijuana to LSD, moving on to cocaine and eventually into much more than an addiction to the worst thing on earth, Crystal Meth.
But it won't be simply a poor me piece, I wouldn't be around to write it if that was the case. I'll grab your attention with the turnaround I've made. I'll convince you it will happen, and I'm not somebody 6 tax brackets removed from you. You'll learn how at my lowest, nearly 30 and living in a 500 sq ft studio, somehow someone special chose me to save. This was a someone with their entire life before them, someone 11 years younger and 11 times smarter than I was at her age possibly than I am now.
This person was more than just the hot young girl I first met. She was raised by good parents, had a career, a sense of humor, athleticism and loved me more than anyone I'd ever known. She
brought me back into the light, gave me another opportunity at fatherhood took over the financial mess I placed myself in asking only for my love and attention in return. We've bought a nice new home, two new cars and a thousand memories together in just 4 years.
My career took off, I matured and earned a promotion to Postmaster. I've rebuilt relationships with family, friends and even the ex-wife. A woman I somehow credit with making me the man I now am. Life is exactly what it should be, comfortable. I should be overjoyed with the place in life I've found. I should be, but I'm not.
That is why you're reading this. I'm convinced everyone has a purpose in life and some of us are fortunate enough to know that purpose. I am certain mine is to touch the lives of the masses and change the path of many along the way. I've searched for a vehicle to do this for most of my adult life, and now at just the right time (almost as if planned) I've found it in blog's.
So I hope you are one of three possible profiles of people I imagine may benefit from this blog. I hope you are someone who needs to hear what I have to say, and can benefit from the story and seeing the person I've become. Now that sounds terrible to me, hoping you're in a place much like I was for over a decade, but I want you to know that I can help you. If that isn't you than I hope this blog will either help you as you search for a way to rescue some person dear to you or inspire you to comment, provide your advice and experience and help me in my efforts to find those who will benefit from my words.
Words seem to be the talent I'm supposed to use to fulfill this "purpose". And to think I was convinced it was something far from this. First it was going to be my fame as a ballplayer that would help me save others, then it was going to involve a big lottery payday and tons of money to create a lifestyle void of problems. It moved on to get rich quick schemes, visions of becoming an actor and a number of other dead ends. In the end, I needed look no further than my last name, "Pluma", spanish for the pen. I am "the pen" and tonight I begin putting the pieces together, assembling the machine aimed at convincing others that their darkest days will undoubtedly transform them into a better, more complete person.
Consider this, much the same as every "make money now" site you've ever visited. All of them convince you they've assembled the 12 Disc set to take all the years of work and countless failures out of the process for you. Now I can't guarantee that after reading my stuff you'll be on top of the world. There's no "30 Day money back guarantee" associated with Blogg'd Life, just my word that I'll do my best to paint a picture you can relate to. I'll surround it with what I've become, be it comedy, a commitment to the Yankees, my involvement with youth, or maybe even the blueprint for a successful relationship. One of these or another common interest we have will be the one thing that will provide you with a little comfort, maybe convince you to look a little deeper, and ultimately provide the hope necessary to get through the struggle.
Stay with me and remember, I'm no English Degree holding righter. I'm a regular guy who grew up in a "my parents don't understand me" environment. I did everything possible to avoid a thirtieth birthday and still I'm walking the earth, searching for direction and wondering at this very moment if anyone is out there, if anyone needs someone to let them know their going to make it, or if this is simply a much cheaper version of regularly visiting a shrink.
In any event, I'll be here entertaining you, (or at least myself hopefully) with direct posts chronicling the struggles of a life perceived to be perfect, as well as through various other blogs focusing more specifically on areas I see as being directly responsible for most of those lost in life. But getting back to me not being the writer qualified to post such text; if my grammar, spelling or sentence structure proves to be your focus when reading, you are obviously not struggling through a day, not convinced there'no reason to keep going. If it's the I before E except after C failures I've had that capture your attention, more than likely you're not someone overly concerned with discovering why their daughter has become a heroin addict, or how they can help. So if you've read more run on sentences than you can count, and you feel the need to comment on my lack of any grammatical sense, well that's fine. In reading your comments, I will assume you possess a masters or PhD in any one or more of the fields relevant in assisting those focused on the content not the commas within these words.
To you, if you find yourself fitting that description, I offer my sincere thanks. I can always benefit from the constructive criticism of others. I'll also be wanting to lock you in to contributing a piece to my project that is both properly punctuated and relevant to that teen contemplating suicide, the pregnant girl living with strong Christian parents, or the dad who just learned he'll be paying the woman he planned to spend the rest of his life with, $947.00 each month.
Of course people will say he's lucky, they'll share stories with the guy about friends paying twice that each month, but to this guy its not the money he's struggling to find. He's searching for logic in how a woman can be unfaithful, move out of the house take his children with her and he is now supposed to feel good about having 6 nights each month to tuck his children into bed, be there for a bad dream or cook breakfast for them. Just the things he planned on doing every night for the better part of the next 18 years.
He's now reduced to hearing his children call him by the name of their mom's new man, then trying to assure them it's ok, just an accident. I've been there, I spent nights on end picturing my son as he awoke, scared and needing comfort. I cursed God for taking away the little things I was most looking forward to as a dad, being the strength, the shelter for my kids. But God put me through each of those long, emotional nights for a reason. If it ends up being only to help one guy, then it was well worth it. I'm a better father than I ever would have been had the perfect life I thought I was heading for not been turned upside down.
So now you know why I'm here. What brings you by? I welcome your comments and look forward to providing some direction,or at the very least a little comfort to you.
Get some rest, tomorrow may be worse than today. Consider that you may not have hit rock bottom, you may be worse off than you know. But you will get through it. With a little guidance a lot of prayer and focus, these days will soon be distant memories along with the shell of a personality you had prior to going through what you're now in the middle of. Good Night, I'll be around.
If your relationship with your parents or a parent went south your sophomore year or if you graduated High School with a 4.0 GPA only to find out that's not enough to garner financial aid for college I need to speak to you. Anyone who grew up believing they were going to be a professional baseball player will benefit from this blog. Especially those sitting in the dark discovering for the first time that there is not a big demand for workers skilled in the pivot at second or drag bunting. If your teen years left you having learned little that is useful outside the arena you knew you'd be working in I've got stories.
Relationships? You'll be surprised how many problems an ugly guy like myself could develop with such a relatively high number of women, (given the time frame). A high school girlfriend that dumped me the Monday before prom, a supposed true love who took your child and anything else that could have mattered just four years after marrying you. One that was deported, who received your financial assistance. Financial assistance you didn't have for weekends with your son, but found a way to provide to a person you felt guilty for sending away. A person who would choose the company of a "coyote" in a concrete room in Tijuana with a community bathroom, over your willingness to pay for her return to the US and a better life. If you placed a woman and her son ahead of your son, if that woman was a psychopath, If she made you change everything that made you you, than we'll have a lot to discuss. Especially if even after knowing all of that, you still threw yourself on the hood of her car as she left you in your front yard. The decisions to get payback on those women by purposely targeting married women to engage in affairs with might be an interest. The void left in life when such a move costs one of the best friendships you've had. Something in there must be of interest.
What about the other issues associated with your late teens, twenties and even into your thirties. I'm talking about alcohol abuse, divorce, bankruptcy, child custody. The fact that this is your life, you aren't special or destined for anything more than 40 hours a week and benefits if your lucky. Not living up to a fathers expectations, but continuing to keep that one goal. Disappointing siblings, mothers, family friends, everyone. Multiple attempts at suicide, one landing you in the funny farm for a handful of strange days.
None of this however will compare for the interest you'll find in my views on experimental drug use and its transformation into addiction. Addiction, a word I viewed as a cop out for a mother unwilling to attempt to quit smoking. Now a word I associate with the closest thing to the devil that I have ever known. Experimentation with everything from Marijuana to LSD, moving on to cocaine and eventually into much more than an addiction to the worst thing on earth, Crystal Meth.
But it won't be simply a poor me piece, I wouldn't be around to write it if that was the case. I'll grab your attention with the turnaround I've made. I'll convince you it will happen, and I'm not somebody 6 tax brackets removed from you. You'll learn how at my lowest, nearly 30 and living in a 500 sq ft studio, somehow someone special chose me to save. This was a someone with their entire life before them, someone 11 years younger and 11 times smarter than I was at her age possibly than I am now.
This person was more than just the hot young girl I first met. She was raised by good parents, had a career, a sense of humor, athleticism and loved me more than anyone I'd ever known. She
brought me back into the light, gave me another opportunity at fatherhood took over the financial mess I placed myself in asking only for my love and attention in return. We've bought a nice new home, two new cars and a thousand memories together in just 4 years.
My career took off, I matured and earned a promotion to Postmaster. I've rebuilt relationships with family, friends and even the ex-wife. A woman I somehow credit with making me the man I now am. Life is exactly what it should be, comfortable. I should be overjoyed with the place in life I've found. I should be, but I'm not.
That is why you're reading this. I'm convinced everyone has a purpose in life and some of us are fortunate enough to know that purpose. I am certain mine is to touch the lives of the masses and change the path of many along the way. I've searched for a vehicle to do this for most of my adult life, and now at just the right time (almost as if planned) I've found it in blog's.
So I hope you are one of three possible profiles of people I imagine may benefit from this blog. I hope you are someone who needs to hear what I have to say, and can benefit from the story and seeing the person I've become. Now that sounds terrible to me, hoping you're in a place much like I was for over a decade, but I want you to know that I can help you. If that isn't you than I hope this blog will either help you as you search for a way to rescue some person dear to you or inspire you to comment, provide your advice and experience and help me in my efforts to find those who will benefit from my words.
Words seem to be the talent I'm supposed to use to fulfill this "purpose". And to think I was convinced it was something far from this. First it was going to be my fame as a ballplayer that would help me save others, then it was going to involve a big lottery payday and tons of money to create a lifestyle void of problems. It moved on to get rich quick schemes, visions of becoming an actor and a number of other dead ends. In the end, I needed look no further than my last name, "Pluma", spanish for the pen. I am "the pen" and tonight I begin putting the pieces together, assembling the machine aimed at convincing others that their darkest days will undoubtedly transform them into a better, more complete person.
Consider this, much the same as every "make money now" site you've ever visited. All of them convince you they've assembled the 12 Disc set to take all the years of work and countless failures out of the process for you. Now I can't guarantee that after reading my stuff you'll be on top of the world. There's no "30 Day money back guarantee" associated with Blogg'd Life, just my word that I'll do my best to paint a picture you can relate to. I'll surround it with what I've become, be it comedy, a commitment to the Yankees, my involvement with youth, or maybe even the blueprint for a successful relationship. One of these or another common interest we have will be the one thing that will provide you with a little comfort, maybe convince you to look a little deeper, and ultimately provide the hope necessary to get through the struggle.
Stay with me and remember, I'm no English Degree holding righter. I'm a regular guy who grew up in a "my parents don't understand me" environment. I did everything possible to avoid a thirtieth birthday and still I'm walking the earth, searching for direction and wondering at this very moment if anyone is out there, if anyone needs someone to let them know their going to make it, or if this is simply a much cheaper version of regularly visiting a shrink.
In any event, I'll be here entertaining you, (or at least myself hopefully) with direct posts chronicling the struggles of a life perceived to be perfect, as well as through various other blogs focusing more specifically on areas I see as being directly responsible for most of those lost in life. But getting back to me not being the writer qualified to post such text; if my grammar, spelling or sentence structure proves to be your focus when reading, you are obviously not struggling through a day, not convinced there'no reason to keep going. If it's the I before E except after C failures I've had that capture your attention, more than likely you're not someone overly concerned with discovering why their daughter has become a heroin addict, or how they can help. So if you've read more run on sentences than you can count, and you feel the need to comment on my lack of any grammatical sense, well that's fine. In reading your comments, I will assume you possess a masters or PhD in any one or more of the fields relevant in assisting those focused on the content not the commas within these words.
To you, if you find yourself fitting that description, I offer my sincere thanks. I can always benefit from the constructive criticism of others. I'll also be wanting to lock you in to contributing a piece to my project that is both properly punctuated and relevant to that teen contemplating suicide, the pregnant girl living with strong Christian parents, or the dad who just learned he'll be paying the woman he planned to spend the rest of his life with, $947.00 each month.
Of course people will say he's lucky, they'll share stories with the guy about friends paying twice that each month, but to this guy its not the money he's struggling to find. He's searching for logic in how a woman can be unfaithful, move out of the house take his children with her and he is now supposed to feel good about having 6 nights each month to tuck his children into bed, be there for a bad dream or cook breakfast for them. Just the things he planned on doing every night for the better part of the next 18 years.
He's now reduced to hearing his children call him by the name of their mom's new man, then trying to assure them it's ok, just an accident. I've been there, I spent nights on end picturing my son as he awoke, scared and needing comfort. I cursed God for taking away the little things I was most looking forward to as a dad, being the strength, the shelter for my kids. But God put me through each of those long, emotional nights for a reason. If it ends up being only to help one guy, then it was well worth it. I'm a better father than I ever would have been had the perfect life I thought I was heading for not been turned upside down.
So now you know why I'm here. What brings you by? I welcome your comments and look forward to providing some direction,or at the very least a little comfort to you.
Get some rest, tomorrow may be worse than today. Consider that you may not have hit rock bottom, you may be worse off than you know. But you will get through it. With a little guidance a lot of prayer and focus, these days will soon be distant memories along with the shell of a personality you had prior to going through what you're now in the middle of. Good Night, I'll be around.
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